TEAM ME OR TEAM WE?
If you're going through hell, keep going. - Winston Churchill
So, it’s here. No matter where you live in the world it has found its way. As news and social media debates rage about how best to tackle nature’s latest challenge, the extremes through which society now seems to exist show no sign of blurring or banding together in solidarity against a common enemy. Whether you think it’s the apocalypse or an anomaly, you favour containment over delay, or you believe isolation makes more sense than building herd immunity, it will still fall to the powers that be to make the final decisions that steer each country in their particular direction. Whilst it may be true that the illusion of control is being revealed as the greatest trick ever pulled (sorry Keyser Soze), we are not helpless. As individuals we still have some autonomy and thankfully, we have only one question to answer. Team Me or Team We? Will we allow COVID-19 to tear us apart or bring us together?
Growth and transformation can be the beautiful offspring of challenge and trauma and right now we are in the incubation phase. How we choose to act in the short term will have a profound impact in the long term. This pandemic is not discriminating and nor should we.
As a former sufferer of a misunderstood illness that has no vaccine (ME/CFS), I feel I have a unique perspective on what lies ahead. My experience and that of so many sufferers of chronic illness is exactly that of isolation, confusion and abandonment. I have written in the past about the experience of being cut adrift by society when you are no longer capable of contributing to the machine and it is a lonely, traumatic existence. The insights I gained on the way back to life may be useful as we enter these unchartered waters.
Before ME/CFS swooped in to take control of my life I lived like so many do today. I was all about the hustle. Work hard, play hard, achieve, accumulate, dominate. Never stop moving, only the strong survive, blah, blah, blah. Today I look back on who I was with affectionate bemusement. As I have said so often, ME/CFS was a gift, it taught me so much. Now I approach life with serendipitude, secure in the knowledge that challenge leads to change, trauma to transformation, trust to transcendence. Where I have struggled, and I don’t believe it is weak to admit that I have, is making peace with that approach whilst trying to find my place in a world that is completely indifferent to it. In another paradoxical post I discussed the PTSD I continued to suffer in recovery due to the cold, inhumane treatment that was dished out both during and after my illness, so I can’t help but look at our current situation and hope that we embrace the opportunity to bring more empathy and understanding to the world and those who will continue to suffer long after we have developed a vaccine for this particular virus.
That is not to say I am looking past the challenge we are currently facing. As someone who lost his father only a few short years ago, I am of the firm belief that death, regardless of age, is a brutal, horrifying experience to endure, yet at the core of all tragedy lies the simple but harsh truth for all who must to face it;
The only thing you can control is how you react to things that are outside of your control.
We must react with empathy above all things. The majority of the population who contract this virus will only experience mild symptoms however estimates put the number of those who will require some form of hospital treatment anywhere between 10% - 20%. Very few countries will be able to be able to follow China’s example and build two hospitals in one week to handle the increase in demand. This means our health services are going to experience a type of pressure they have never encountered before, therefore we must understand that this is not about us.
It is about those at risk and those who will treat them.
They are the priority therefore all our actions must go toward making that as easy as possible for them. So, what can we do?
Take Care of Yourself
This little nugget is the gold I share with clients, over and over again and the approach is no different here. Use whichever analogy works best for you. “You can’t fill from an empty cup,” “you must put on your own oxygen mask first,” etc, etc. The song remains the same. If you do not put your own welfare at the forefront of everything you do, you will not be able to show up in the way you want. Mentally, physically, spiritually, you need to be as fit as you can possibly be to get yourself and your loved ones through this period of uncertainty.
*Disclaimer…This requires a level of subtlety and awareness that many unfortunately do not possess. For the benefit of such folk, this does not mean you have free reign to serve your needs like a toddler might theirs, with no consideration or care for others. This does not mean ransacking supermarkets and pharmacies for enough supplies to see you through the next year when there are others of less means who will need some tomorrow.
What it means, is following a protocol on a daily basis that I would like to think we might be anyway:
· Be kind and considerate, to and for others
· Wash your hands and practice good hygiene
· Practice self-care.
· Eat healthy, move your body, flex your brain, make sleep a priority. (This is what strengthens the immune system)
· Keep your mind right and reach out if you find yourself struggling
In normal times we have a tendency to tell ourselves that no-one else struggles with fear, doubt or uncertainty in quite the same way that we do, that we are alone in our misery and our inadequacy, yet if there are any positives to be found in our current situation, it has to be the realisation that we are all currently residing in the same sphere of emotion and experience, therefore there should be no hesitation or worry in speaking up and reaching out.
Take Care of Others
This takes us back to the previous point that for most of us, any infection we may get will not be that serious, therefore once we have done all we can to keep ourselves healthy our next steps should be in relation to the care of others. This may mean social distancing where possible. If you are able to work from home, you should do so. For businesses who worry that this may be seen as unfair by those who still have to go to a communal workspace to perform their duties, it should be seen and explained as a thinning of the herd and a risk reduction for all. It is not a holiday, simply a change of location to facilitate the greater good.
When you are home, stay there as much as possible except for the essential trips for groceries and work. When it comes to groceries once again take only what you need and keep faith that our supply chains will be able to cope so long as we do not put them under undue pressure. Expectant mothers and those with young infants as well as the elderly will not be able to get out as often or cover the same ground and distance as you so ensure there are supplies left for those most in need.
Take Care of the Present
To some isolation seems scary. A 2014 study showed that when given a choice between being left alone with our thoughts for 15 mins or giving ourselves an electric shock, a quarter of women and two thirds of men chose the electric shock! This time though, if used wisely, can be transformative.
During my illness, when I realised there was no magic wand, I set to taking control of the only thing I could. My autonomy lay in my recovery. My recovery lay in my study. Knowledge was potential power, and so, just like Dustin Henderson, I set forth on a curiosity voyage. I just needed to set sail in the right direction.
A recent episode of the Joe Rogan Podcast with Infectious Disease Specialist, Michael Osterholm laid bare the fact that he had been predicting this would happen since 2005, even going so far as to dedicating a chapter in his 2017 book, “Deadliest Enemy: The War Against Killer Germs” to coronaviruses, naming it ‘SARS and MERS: A Harbinger of Things to Come’ and predicting that it would start in China. Unfortunately, like so many pioneers he was dismissed and ignored. Therefore, your study should start with the cultivation of critical thinking. At a time when we are bombarded with so much information and so many trying to pass themselves off as influencers and thought leaders, we need to be effective and callous with our bullshit detector. When the dust finally settles there will be many of these so-called experts with egg on their face due to the fact that in their rush to be first, they failed on the facts.
Do not fall into the same trap. Educate yourselves through the correct channels. Find experts you can rely upon who have a proven track record or who are being recommended by such folk. Look to reputable news sources who deal only in fact and stay away from sensationalist reporting, click bait titles and negative social media discourse. Ask the right questions and ruminate on the answers.
Be Brain Fit list these 5 ways of improving your critical thinking:
• Clearly define your question or problem
• Gather information to help you weigh the options
• Apply the information and ask critical questions
• Consider the implications
• Explore the full spectrum of viewpoints
Radical reflection will lead to conscious clarity and acceptance of where we are and how best to move forward.
If you find yourself struggling with isolation realise that in this day and age 'isolation' is a relative term. Whilst there can never a good time to be quarantined, today certainly isn’t the worst. Outside of the good old-fashioned phone, Facetime, Zoom, Skype, Teams etc all mean we can still speak freely with the outside world and in particular our friends and family. Many of us may be lucky enough to have multiple devices and if that is the case, we might consider sharing these with our elderly relatives so we can stay in touch without putting them at risk. Most doctors, therapists and coaches these days operate in this manner too, so if things get particularly difficult, know that you are not alone and there are options outside of the traditional methods. Whilst technology may have its drawbacks it will certainly make the coming months easier than they might have been.
How we do anything is how we do everything.
The reality is that there is nothing new that we need to be doing here. These are the same pursuits we should always be following. Looking after our mind, body and spirit in ways that allow us to grow and expand our horizons on a daily basis. Consciousness is a powerful tool and managed correctly, it can take us further that any car, boat or plane. Leaning into this experience will enable us to create a healthier environment, here and now, and in the future too.
Take Care of the Future
When this season (or seasons) of discontent finally pass it is safe to say things will have changed. Humans have a tendency to revert back to type when a difficult challenge has been overcome. We stepped up in adversity so now we should be allowed to step back into comfort. We cannot allow this to happen. We must use all that we experience and learn, the good and the bad, to inform how we should move forward together. We may not be able to prevent such things happening again, but we can certainly learn how to mitigate them.
We will have experienced an insight into how things really are for those who are chronically ill. What will hopefully turn out to have only been a few months of hardship for us, is a lifetime sentence for many of them, therefore we should take this consideration forward and identify how we can better serve those in need.
Similarly, there is no doubt that we will be standing in awe and appreciation of our healthcare workers, yet there is no need to wait. We can start to show them our gratitude right now by embracing all the things we can do to make their lives easier. They are the ones putting themselves in the eye of the storm and they need to be recognised for doing so.
One of the recommendations given to me at the start of my own journey was to soak up as many examples of ordinary folk doing extraordinary things to give me the inspiration, belief and blueprint for facilitating my own exceptional journey and I urge you to do the same.
It is these very people I have just mentioned, those at risk and those who care for them, that provide the most inspiration. People who battle against illness on a daily basis. Who have watched their world fall apart in ways we could never imagine. Who have had no choice but to learn to live with uncertainty and fear. For them, it will feel like a nostalgic trip down memory lane except this time they know what is coming, this time they can help others in a way that was not available to them. They are the Nights Watch, the sword in the darkness, the watchers on the wall, the fire that burns against the cold. Proof that though the human spirit may bow and bend, it will never break.
We can follow their example and embody their grit and determination to live life no matter the trials. History is littered with tales of heroes and villains, people who withstood or wilted in the fires of temptation and greed. How will history view you?
In a society tailored to the individual, in a time where marketers constantly tell us that we are special, now is the time to prove it. This is our blitz. We have an opportunity to show our ancestors that when the time came to stand up, we stood up...together. Neither creed nor colour, sex nor race, politics nor position had a part to play.
The very name attributed to this particular coronavirus, COVID-19, is presenting us with the map for how we respond. Will we travel forwards in faith towards co-operation, or backwards in fear towards division? Will we act for one, or for all?
Already we are seeing beautiful examples of solidarity that transcends borders and politics, none more touching than the example of the Chinese company, Xiaomi, who donated tens of thousands of face masks to Italy's government to help stop the spread of the coronavirus and to curb a shortage in the country's health materials. They labelled the crates with a quote from the Stoic philosopher, Seneca:
We are waves of the same sea, leaves of the same tree, flowers of the same garden
Let us bloom together, in safety, connection and compassion.
Take Aim, Transform, Transcend…
Skywards...
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