12th May 2017…that was the day that changed everything...
On that day, ME/CFS/Fibromyalgia Awareness Day, I finally took myself off the side-lines and entered the game. I planted my feet, held my head high and shared my experience of living with a chronic illness in the hope that it might provide some support, encouragement and solidarity with fellow sufferers whilst also raising awareness and insight for those lucky enough not to have had the experience themselves. During my time with this illness the wall of ignorance, misinformation and apathy has been intense, surprising and appalling. Empathy is the answer, not only to this set of illnesses but to all chronic illnesses, be they autoimmune related, anxiety/stress related or indeed have any relation whatsoever to the circumstances that elicit the dismissive response provided by the medical community to a condition that isn’t acute, has more than one symptom that can’t be covered in a 10 minute session or that can’t be fixed by a magic pill.
At the time I stated that, “I have made some recent breakthroughs after years of attempt after repeated attempt to overcome what has proven to be a much more stubborn adversary than I might ever have imagined.” As I wrote I was feeling fit, healthy and full of optimism about what the future had in store for me, I could see the sun on the horizon, nothing but plain sailing ahead. I had paid my dues, earned my stripes, reinforced my authenticity and now it was time to pay it forward and live a life of meaning and joy, always on top of things, always moving forward. Little did I know then that this day would change everything. To say that my life looks completely different now to how it did then would be an understatement. To say that I have always been the uber-positive, non-reactive, life affirming centred individual who can always see the good in any struggle over the past 11 months would be an outright lie. To highlight just one of the challenges life decided to throw my way, those of you who followed the comments of the original post will know that my responses to the kind and supportive comments I received were delayed until the end of the day because my Dad had taken a fall and we had spent the day in casualty. That was the first time he had ever needed to be taken into hospital as he reached the twilight of his life. Within 2 months and 4 days he was gone completely.
So, started the tailspin but before you fear I am about to send you on a downward spiral of depression and hopelessness and give you a blow by blow account of my struggles, let me tell you what has changed since I signed off on the original post with these words:
“This has not been a rant or a pity party. This is more like the opening paragraph of my manifesto. I have come to realise that this has not been a hardship, this has been an awakening. For me ME/CFS has been a gift and I want to put all that I have learned to use in a positive way by helping those who continue to suffer.”
ABSOLUTELy FUCKING NOTHING!
Nothing has changed in relation to my mission, my purpose, my passion. Nothing will throw me off my path, to provide the empathy, support and guidance that was so lacking for me on my journey. Nothing will throw me off my path in returning the favour to those who were there for me by paying it forward and empowering others to find their own path. Nothing will throw me off being the living embodiment of my own beliefs and values and showing what is possible when you do plant your feet, lift your head up high and make a stand against the apathy and conditioning we experience so often in modern life and that is why I share this story.
Life is transient, life is ever moving, the waves of consequence and trial forever trying to throw us off course. Our job is to stay afloat, to keep faith in our compass and to keep our attention on our North Star no matter how powerful or how long the storm keeps blowing.
To that end, I am pleased to announce the launch of Skywards HPC, a coaching practice that, in the words of my training faculty in this particular discipline, the Human Potential Institute, “is a consciousness transforming process that inspires and supports clients in achieving their goals, realising their potential and upgrading their body, mind and energy.” Human Potential Coaching in all its glory! The Institute and the content has been developed by the father of biohacking himself and CEO of Bulletproof, Dave Asprey in partnership with Dr. Mark Atkinson. Some of you will be aware of Bulletproof, some of you will not. To those who are not, Bulletproof is one of the world’s leading human performance organisations who promote a total holistic approach of upgrading your psychology, biology and environment to enable you to live in a “state of high performance” and it will be my aim, my goal and my pleasure to assist anyone who is interested in optimising their lives by utilising the techniques I have learnt here and elsewhere.
At the time of the original post I had already embarked on a journey of training and education to lay the foundation for my aspirations and that journey goes on. Continuous education will be my mantra so that I am able to offer insights into the latest scientific research and cutting edge techniques in the field of personal development and holistic advancement but today marks the jumping off point, where I, as all good coaches should, “walk my talk.”
So often in life we make plans, we tell ourselves that when conditions are right we will be happy, we will achieve those lofty dreams, we will deal with those longstanding issues but not quite yet. Some things still have to fall into place. Tomorrow, tomorrow…we have all been guilty of this, giving into fear, giving into doubt, asking ourselves are we good enough, do we have what it takes? The theory has been learnt, the hours of practice put in, the supervision given, and feedback received so what holds us back? Tony Robbins theorises that we run away from pain and towards pleasure, short term thinking in place of long term gains. Studies have shown that what makes us uniquely human is the fact that we are the only living creature capable of delaying gratification which lead us to becoming more than we might otherwise have been and yet so many of us give in to temptation, or more often stagnation.
That is where coaching comes in. A coach is someone who holds the mirror to our being, what motivates us, what holds us back, what do we believe, what do we value, what do we fear, what gives us meaning. I personally am not a fan of the term “life coach”. A coach is not going to tell you how to live your life, a coach is not a consultant, a mentor or a therapist. A coach does not have the answers as to what will give meaning and depth to your life…YOU do. A coach is a facilitator, an accountability partner who walks the path with you and helps you identify your own unique route towards attaining the life you want. To reference Tony Robbins again, who for those of you who don’t know, is undoubtedly the most recognised coach practising today, one of his most well-known soundbites is “change can happen in an instant” but when you lift the lid and peer below the headline even he admits that sustained change requires commitment and a deep desire for things to be different. “Getting on with it” and “doing whatever it takes” are two different mind sets and if you identify with the latter then I believe Skywards HPC may have something to offer.
In business you are always advised to find your niche and whilst it would be disingenuous of me to say that I don’t have a passion in helping anyone who wants to sharpen the contrast of their lives and indeed that is my aim, I obviously have a passion in helping those who are currently on the path that I have travelled. Not just those with ME/CFS or Fibromyalgia but anyone living with a chronic illness, in particular those living with any of the 80+ autoimmune illnesses we know of alongside anxiety, depression, general malaise or misdirection, those who feel abandoned, alone or who just want to connect with their deeper purpose in life. Unlike so many in the industry I do not make any grand claims, I am not a doctor, a nutritionist, a psychiatrist or a spiritual guru, nor do I hide behind trademarked cloak and dagger techniques. In this day and age knowledge is just a mouse click away. I only commit to shine a light, to help you increase your self-awareness, your emotional and embodied intelligence, your grit and resilience and to share resources that may help on your journey, so that you can make use of what works and throw away what does not. To quote from the movie, “The Matrix,” one of the most striking self-awareness analogies in recent times, and as such, commonly referenced, “I can only show you the door…you’re the one who has to walk through it”.
So, in closing here we stand. This is what’s known in Silicon Valley as a soft launch. No bells and whistles, no avalanche of advertising and pizazz. The website is still in development, there is no office space. Instead all sessions can be conducted from the comfort of your own home via Zoom/Skype. With all this in mind, with a few weeks of certification remaining and with my original grand plan being to launch on ME/CFS/FMS Awareness Day, giving me a neat synchronicity on the anniversary of my original post and on a day when I might have more people’s attention and have more time to package this all up, why now?
There are a few reasons, the first of which, as I have alluded to, is to be an example to all potential clients. Of the power of taking action and making things happen even when we feel we may not be ready. Secondly, because it just feels right. My heart and my soul are telling me that the time is now, not on some mystical perfect day in the future and so we look to build organically, putting one foot in front of the other and helping those who are brave enough to step up to the plate and do the work. Lastly, but perhaps most pertinently for me, is that today would have been my Dad’s 73rd birthday. Asides from the fact that the year itself has some personal significance to me, it also seems a fitting tribute to the man who supported me throughout my life and my recovery and who was never more present than in times of need. He never failed to step up and provide that support, perhaps not always in the form of gushing emotion, he was an old school man’s man after all, but the sentiment and intention was always present, reminding me that I was never alone and never adrift and if I can provide that same support and security for those who need it then someday I might get close to becoming the kind of man that he was.
So, my challenge to you, should you choose to accept it, is to plant your feet, hold your head up high and go after what you what in life. Accept no substitute but act with empathy and authenticity and look to build community, not to subjugate it. This is not a sales pitch to contract with me, this is a call to arms to identify your own North Star and to set your course towards it no matter how difficult it may seem.
Go on…make your move…
Skywards’ mission statement is, "creating a partnership of transformation and purpose, empowering you to build your own path towards recovery, optimisation & unlimited personal potential.” If this resonates with you and you are interested in learning more please visit skywardshumanpotential.com and get in touch to arrange a free consultation.
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